Red is the Color of Marriage
by italiciguana
Summary: Kakashi has little familiarity with civilian traditions, so when he gets roped into following Sakura to her coming of age ceremony, he has no idea what he is getting into.
1. Chapter 1

If truth be told, Kakashi did not spend enough time with his team. Both in the past and in the present, there was something a little lacking in his relationships with the younger shinobi. It was not that he did not care for them – quite the contrary, Kakashi would _die_ for them – but that outside of training and missions, he had no idea what was going on in their lives.

Sure, he had a vague idea; Sai was predictable, and Naruto wore even his deepest secrets as everyday expressions. Beyond that however, Kakashi had no clue what they did off the clock. Was Sai in another failed relationship? Did Naruto finally confess to Hinata?

Yet while Kakashi knew a little about the male members of his team, he would be the first to admit (with shame) that he knew next to nothing about Sakura. From his interactions with women in the past, he knew there was more to everything she said; a smile could imply sincerity or a scheme just as easily as a frown.

In one particularly embarrassing instance, he had wrongly assumed that Sakura's favorite color was red, and when giving her a birthday present, she had blown up at him. _Another red hair accessory? He must not care for her at all!_

At first Kakashi thought it was some strange rule about color coordination, but because she refused to talk to him about it (how petty) he had no idea what was wrong. He spent the entire party being ignored by the guest of honor, and it had been a _really_ nice hair accessory. It was not until the Yamanaka girl slid up next to him halfway into the night to explain that red was Sakura's _least_ favorite color. Why? He was still unsure; he had been a long way from sober, and glossed over Ino's explanation entirely.

Now he regretted it, because he had given Sakura a New Year's gift the previous night, and he could not remember if it was red or not. And now? Now she had missed training.

"Where is Sakura-chan?" Naruto asked impatiently. He had refused to begin sparring without her, even though he was to practice with Sai today. "You don't think she's hung-over, do you?"

Sai frowned. "She knows how to filter the effects. Besides, she doesn't drink."

"Really?" Kakashi asked. That was news to him; _every_ shinobi drank alcohol... and with gusto.

"What's keeping her then?" Naruto was annoyed, and the entire team sat in silence for the next five minutes. It was unusual for Sakura to be late, especially this late, a half an hour, considering even Kakashi had arrived.

Wait, did that mean she was actually late by _two_ hours? Kakashi had not even looked at a clock today.

Sai had a thoughtful look on his face. "Perhaps she is with her family." he said, standing. "Sakura's fine; let's just begin training. We're wasting time."

But Naruto was insistent to go and see if she was okay. Before he could run off though, they heard her voice carry through the trees.

"I'm sorry!" she called out. "I'm _so_ sorry!"

Kakashi peered down the trail and watched as Sakura ran towards them. It was unusual for her to take the winding path; it was much easier to jump through the trees. Kakashi was confused until he realized she had chosen that way because of what she was wearing.

"Woah!" Naruto yelled. "Are you getting married?"

Sakura stopped in front of them, gasping for air. She was clothed in an elaborate red kimono that must have weighed her down considerably. Judging by how out of breath she was, Sakura must have been running for over a mile. Or less. How heavy were those kimonos anyway?

To no one's surprise Sakura hit Naruto in the shoulder. "Of course not!" she said. "My mother wouldn't let me go _anywhere_ in a wedding dress."

She said it with such finality that the rest of her team were forced to accept her explanation, because she said nothing more about the dress she was actually wearing.

"I have to miss training today." she said, looking a bit miffed. "Family commitments, so I can't reschedule!"

Naruto was about to ask more when Sakura turned and ran, very slowly, and Kakashi realized that despite her outfit, she was wearing her training sandals. It was such an odd combination that Kakashi was completely distracted.

"I'll be back in a few days!" she shouted, and her voice echoed through the trees until it whimpered into nothing.

The men of Team Seven just stared, Sakura's short and strange visit a completely random and inexplicable event. None of their questions had been answered, except the fact that Sakura was okay.

At least, Kakashi _thought_ so.

* * *

><p>"Huh?"<p>

Kakashi turned at the questioning mummer from Sai. Training had lasted until just before dusk, so he had to squint his eyes to make out what the other man was holding in his hand.

"Is that... a naughty bit?" Naruto asked, looking down at what seemed to be a garter of some form. Both Naruto and Kakashi blanched, because it could have only come from one person. At least, he _hoped_ it came from only one person, as it was bad enough, and if it came from one of them-

He silenced the thought when Sai told them what it was.

"She won't wear it." he said. "At least, not really."

It was cryptic, and a confusing answer, so he clarified. "Don't you know?" Sai asked. "Sakura turned twenty last year, and this is New Year's."

"I don't get it." Naruto responded. "Why is Sakura wearing lingerie for New Year's? She broke up with Shikamaru _ages_ ago."

"I didn't think she celebrated the _Blessing of the Ancestors,"_ Sai pulled at the garter with a frown. "But I guess it makes sense; she comes from a civilian family. They are rather superstitious."

"Is that a holiday?" Kakashi asked. Sai and Naruto both turned to him, caught off guard by their sensei not knowing something. Kakashi found it odd himself – sure, his parents and their parents, and their parents and their parents, were all shinobi, but if there was an important holiday, surely he would have known about it... perhaps even have celebrated it at some point in his early childhood.

But Naruto seemed just as confused, so it must have been a purely civilian holiday. Still, Sai seemed to know all about it.

"After New Year's children who turned twenty in the previous year go to their family shrines to receive the blessing of their ancestors and become adults." Sai said. "Tenten celebrated it last year. Don't you remember her saying that now she can marry?"

Ahh, Tenten, that was who Sai was dating. He remembered now.

"Hinata says that Tenten is really pushing for Neji to ask for her hand." Naruto said.

_Okay, maybe not_. Kakashi thought. _Must have been an ex_.

"But how do you know all this?" Naruto asked. "I've never heard anyone talk about it before."

"Sakura and Tenten are both from civilian backgrounds, and unlikely many of the shinobi in Konoha, and the _civilians_ in Konoha, their ancestors are from Fire, and they celebrate Fire holidays. Nearly all of them."

Kakashi wondered if Sai came from a civilian background, and that was why he was so interested. Did he wish he would have had a blessing from _his_ ancestors? Well, it did not matter now.

"Why the garter?" Kakashi asked, a little disturbed. "That seems a little... odd for a family holiday."

Sai shook his head, but to Kakashi it did not seem entirely genuine. "I don't know, but it must be important. Sakura would not have worn red if she had a choice."

"But she _always_ wears red." Naruto complained.

"It's her clan's color. Even if they are not shinobi, it would be shameful not to wear it. Her parents are traditionalists."

Sai held up the garter. "I have somewhere to be; can one of you take this to her?"

Naruto seemed a little too eager to touch it, but when Hinata rounded the corner he threw it into the unsuspecting face of Kakashi. Hinata blushed when she saw what he was holding, and after an awkward explanation, Kakashi found himself walking toward Sakura's house with a garter _very_ well hidden in his pocket.

* * *

><p>"Kakashi-sensei!" Sakura's mother exclaimed when she opened up the door of her flat. But her face quickly changed to one of concern. "Why are you so red?"<p>

Kakashi's hand flew to his face, and he realized that it felt hot. He did not want to explain just what he was carrying to his student's mother, so he accepted her offer to come inside.

He knew upon crossing the threshold that it had been the worst mistake of his day.

The entire foyer, normally kept cleaned to show the family's moderate wealth and prestige, was a mess of boxes. They were crammed together in stacks against the wall, and it appeared to have extended into the living room.

"It's so good you are here, though I can't imagine why!" Sakura's mother fell to the floor, _very_ unlike her perfect decorum, and began to knot thread around the neck of a temple offering. "Sakura's still upstairs preparing for her journey. I can't believe we forgot!"

"You forgot?" Kakashi asked. He was under the impression they were superstitious, as Sai said.

"Yes!" Sakura's mother said, her face hidden behind her hand. "My mother would have beaten me if she had known, but it is so easy for it to slip your mind! Except for a few families, no one celebrates the _Blessing of the Ancestors_ in Konoha. I had no idea until Tenten's father came by this morning and asked why we were still in town! I really should get to know the man and his family better, even if they are paupers. My husband would like him."

Always calculating, and ever elitist. He was glad Sakura was only somewhat like her.

"I _should_ have beaten Sakura. She knew, but she chose to keep it hidden because she refused to wear the kimono her grandmother sent her. Really, it's very beautiful!"

She went on and on, asking (commanding) Kakashi to knot thread around the necks of the temple offerings. It occurred to him by the fifth trinket that these were probably offering for ancestral spirits. They _were_ superstitious. The trinkets were not silly little market offerings for festivals, but decadent wooden sculptures with thread tied around their necks. New thread, by the looks of it, and made from the same type of material as Sakura's kimono. If he were to hazard a guest, the offerings were generations old, and worth a fair sum.

"But you know Sakura!" her mother continued. "Red looks so good on her, but she must hate wearing it all the time. On missions, at the hospital... but I would _never_ allow her to wear another color. That would just be bad luck!"

Kakashi stared at the other woman, not comprehending her explanation.  
>Sakura's mother was a beautiful woman, perhaps one of the most beautiful in Konoha, but when her lips turned up at the look on Kakashi's face he thought she looked rather obnoxious. "You really don't know?" she asked. "My, don't tell me you wear a different color everywhere you go? Even on missions?'<p>

He shook his head. He always wore the standard uniform since it was free.

Sakura's mother sighed. "Well, that's good. I would have hated for you to have put my daughter into unnecessary danger. Wearing a color other than that of your clan is considered a sin, you know. They would be offended, and would not protect you from evil spirits."

She railed off about how shinobi did not respect the old ways, and Kakashi found out that half of the reason why the uniform of the village had so little variation was because civilian families insisted upon it for good luck. Well, other villages did tend to have more variation, but Kakashi always assumed it was a cost concern with the council. No one was forced to wear them, but judging by Sakura's mother's disapproval, they should if they did not wear the color of their ancestors.

Try as he might to get this pointless conversation over with, Kakashi knew it would be a fruitless endeavor. He was stuck doing the bidding of the woman until her daughter came down – the last time he just stopped by he got an earful... even from Sakura.

But when she came down in her red kimono, with her hair kept in a perfect up-do, she seemed annoyed by her mother's caging of Kakashi. He was relieved that the older woman relented, and Kakashi was able to stop knotting trinkets. He had already knotted a hundred, and judging by the boxes, she had been knotting throughout the day. He was a bit disturbed she seemed to have better knots then he, but Kakashi knew better then to think less of Sakura's mother.

"Why are you here?" Sakura asked. "Did something happen?"

"No, I'm just curious." he said, knowing it would clarify nothing. It was an obvious lie, and Sakura looked at him warily. She expected this to be some sort of prank. It was rare for Naruto and Sai to rope him into a prank, but when they did Sakura rarely stood a chance.

"Oh, your obi is loose!" her mother pointed out. "Kakashi, can you tighten it? And make sure to tighten it well. The ancestors may not bless her for marriage if they think she is plump. They will be mistaken into thinking she is already married."

Sakura did not take this at any offense, as she was used to these remarks. She watched Kakashi instead, mentally preparing herself for a prank not to come. When he stood behind her to tighten her obi, her head was turned... looking at him with the same calculating gaze her mother had mastered.

But when Kakashi failed to tighten the obi to Sakura's mother's satisfaction, he had to use a bit of chakra. Sakura squeaked, and cursed so her mother would not hear. But her mother just looked at the scene with a frown.

"I thought you shinobi could do anything." she said. "I'll get the lever."

She left the room, and Sakura quickly plucked at her obi to loosen it. She took a deep breath.

"Why does she need a lever?" Kakashi asked.

Sakura was still wary of him, but she relaxed. "Her own invention." she said. "Please don't ask her about it, she'll go on for hours. It helps to tighten the obi, and it works _very_ well."

She said nothing more, but Kakashi was curious. He knew that her mother was very intelligent, but he had no idea she was inventive.

"Why are you _really_ here?" she asked him. "I'm too busy for this."

Kakashi reached into his pocket and withdrew the garter. He expected Sakura to flush, and maybe even punch him in the shoulder, but instead she _screamed_.

It was blood curdling. Absolutely _terrifying_. He had only heard her scream like that in the _war_.

Sakura's mother shouted from the other room, deep concern in her voice. Sakura, looking a bit wild, stared at Kakashi for a moment before grabbing the garter and stuffing it down her shirt.

"SAKURA!" her mother ran into the room without any ceremony, her yukata hiked up to her knees. She held a strange device in her hand. "You... are you okay?"

She asked it with tenderness Kakashi forgot she possessed. As cruel as she could be in speech, he knew she loved her daughter.

"I'm _fine_." she said, looking anything but. Her face was flushed, and she lappeared to be a little angry. "Kakashi tried to _prove_ himself. I can barely breathe!"

Sakura's mother hummed, and after considering put the device into a small box. "Well, I don't want to hurt you. I suppose you can keep it loose for now."

This was an unusual relinquishment of power, Kakashi noted, as Sakura beamed.

"At least we know Kakashi can tighten an obi, but just in case, you can take the lever with you on the journey." she handed the box to Kakashi. "Protect this with you life; Sakura will do everything she can to destroy it."

Kakashi looked at Sakura's mother confused.

"Excuse me?"

She smiled. "Well, Sakura's cunning plan included a bit of subterfuge. She had an extensive order of merchandise sent to deliver this morning, and my husband will be sorting it for _days_."

"Okaa-san..." Sakura whined.

But her mother continued. "Unfortunately, neither one of us can go now, as I'll be in the smith trying to make kunai for the academy, due to _another_ timely order."

"Okaa-san..." Sakura whined again, pouting. Perhaps she really thought she was going to get out of her ceremony in some way, but her mother would not have gone through all this preparation without a plan.

"I was going to lie to her grandparents and have her cousin present her to the ancestors, but now I found a better solution!" she said, clapping her hand against his shoulder. "You see, Kakashi-sensei, you count as _family_. I'm sure the ancestors would find it fitting for their shinobi descendent to be presented by a shinobi!"

"You want _me_ to go?" he asked. "I don't have the time..."

Sakura looked absolutely thrilled.

"I know, I know." she said. "Favors are a tricky business, and time is money. That is why I am going to hire you to escort my daughter to the family shrine."

Sakura gave him a look that said: _Don't you dare!_

But that only interested Kakashi, and he knew that payment for this unofficial mission would be enough to warrant his _precious_ time.

When Sakura's mother named a number equal to that of an actual B-Class mission, Kakashi accepted without pretense and despite the outcry of his student.

"Of course, just escorting her there isn't enough!" she said. "You have to make sure she follows tradition, or the ancestors will curse her rather than bless her!"

That would be impossible. He did not know any of their traditions.

But of course Kakashi would not say that.

Still, Sakura's mother was not a fool.

"I'll be back!" she said, running back into the hallway (this time with a bit more grace). Sakura's face had a dark look on it, and she said nothing while they heard the older woman rummaging around. She returned with a small, cheap book in her hand. "Here, take this!"

Kakashi held the book in his palm; it read _Traditions of Fire Country_ in bold, cursive letters. He was surprised that they had anything this cheap on the bottom floor.

"Read it carefully," she said. "I've already blacked out anything silly-"

"Everything in it is silly." Sakura cut in.

"But the rest must be followed!" Sakura's mother went on to explain a few of the more important things, like Sakura had to kiss any cat on the forehead that passed by; it was not bad luck to ignore it, but it would increase her fortune in marriage, and Kakashi was _not_ allowed to let it pass by. In fact, she insisted on him passing by the crazy old cat lady's house just to be ensure her daughter was to be particularly lucky in life.

Kakashi doubted he could get Sakura to follow that, or any of the ridiculous superstitions in the book. Well, it would be fun to see what she _would_ do if he told her to do it, so he promised to do everything Sakura's mother said, and gave a smile to his student.

"You'll leave in an hour-"

"But, it's already sunset!" Sakura complained.

"I know, I know!" her mother responded, looking a bit pale. "But you are already going to be late, and it is not like you'll get in trouble on the road. Just think of your cousins – they have probably been waiting for you for _days_. They can't leave their homes without protection!"

"How am I supposed to protect them in _this_?" Sakura asked, pulling at her kimono.

Her mother blanched when her daughter's toe peeped through.

"Oh... oh my!" she shouted. "Don't tell me... don't tell me you were going to walk out in your shinobi shoes?"

Kakashi had to admit, they clashed horribly.

But of course it was not about _that_.

"What if you offended the _gods_?" her mouth slapped her daughter's shoulders, and started to push her upstairs. "To walk around in your ceremony dress without shoes that have been appropriately weaved... you could have been struck by _lightening!_"

Kakashi decided not to give up Sakura's visit to the training grounds this morning.

* * *

><p>"I'm not doing it, Kakashi." Sakura had put her foot down on the matter of kissing a cat's forehead when they passed the house of the crazy old cat lady. "No way in hell!"<p>

A litter of kittens were napping beneath a bush, and Kakashi thought it a rather harmless and even adorable superstition... and he did not even like cats. Which was why he could not help but feeling a little frustrated.

"Just one quick peck." he said. "You even have a cat, _two cats_, so I don't understand why you won't do it."

Or why it was considered inappropriate to kiss your own cat, but there was no reason behind any of these superstitions.

"It's silly!" she responded, looking at the cats with the same wary eye as she had looked at him earlier. "And besides, don't you know it is bad luck to cross a cat's path at night? These crazy superstitions are always contradicting each other!"

One of the kittens mewed and pawed at Sakura's feet. He could see her melting – there was no way any human being, his dog-loving self included, could look at a friendly cat purring at their feet with anything other than love.

Sakura gingerly pushed the cat away and began walking towards the corner, but Kakashi grabbed her shoulder.

"You know, your mother has followed us." he warned, indicating her more devious parent peering out behind the fence of a neighbor. "And I'll bet if you don't do it, she won't believe you followed even one _silly_ superstition she has charged me to make you follow."

Sakura blanched, and, with a lot of reluctance, began to bend toward the mewing cat.

But just as soon as she did that she snapped back up.

"No, no way in hell!"

"You've said that."

"Kakashi, you don't understand. The kittens' mother is a monster... an absolute devil. She is probably looking at me and preparing to act in vengeance for even thinking of _looking_ at her children. Imagine what she would do to me if I _kissed_ one of them."

It was a poor excuse, and he had no idea where the mother cat was, and Sakura was probably exaggerating.

"Are you talking about the cat or your mother?"

Sakura gave him a scandalized look and turned away. Her eyes fell upon the ground, and the expression that was on her face was similar to that of earlier when he had given her the garter.

_Speaking of the garter._

Kakashi's eyes followed Sakura's and found the garter had fallen to the ground when she had bent over. The kitten was now playing with it, and looked to be having a blast.

But Sakura was not.

"Is... is my mother still _watching_?" she asked with a tender voice. "Did... did she see it fall?"

"Yes?" Kakashi responded, a bit confused. He bent over to pick it up, because this entire little show was going on for too long, but when he grabbed it Sakura squeeked and slapped it out of his hand. It fluttered in the air before Sakura managed to get ahold of it and stuff it into her kimono purse.

Her face was beat red.

"Okay... okay," she said, looking at her mother out of the corner of her eye. "When I say run... run _very_ fast toward the village gates. I don't care what my mother says to get you to come back, _don't_ listen. It will be a fate worse than the ceremony. In a few days when we return, I can think of a lie that she'll buy. Maybe get her a really great gift... it doesn't matter. But when we get back, I'll get you the money, and _don't_ come back to my house for a few months... maybe a year. Yeah, a _year!_"

Kakashi had no idea what she was saying, so he cast a look toward Sakura's mother. She was _skipping_ toward them with a stupid smile on her face. He had never seen Sakura's mother look so much like a fool.

"Why does she look like that?" he asked, starting to follow Sakura's slow steps toward the corner. "Is she having a stroke?"

"No... no it's _much_ worse than that." Sakura responded, grabbing his arm. "The garter is supposed to be tied to a woman's leg loosely during the journey, and... and the man who picks it up is deemed by the gods to be a fated... a fated marriage!"

Oh.

Oh god.

Kakashi pushed himself past Sakura and _dragged_ her towards the gates.

Sakura's mother as his mother-in-law? _That_ would be a fate worse than death.

* * *

><p><strong>Author's Note<strong>

This is a fun romantic comedy told from Kakashi's perspective about the traditional superstitions of the fire country locals. I thought it would be cool to write a romance with a bunch of silly ideas. Most of them are made up, some are inspired by actual beliefs, and others have a very similar nature to reality.

I hope you look forward to the following chapters!


	2. Chapter 2

It was dark, and though the guards at the village gate thought it odd, they allowed Kakashi and Sakura through.

"Your mother isn't going to follow us?" Kakashi asked.

Sakura thought about it for a moment... a long moment. Kakashi was disturbed by how much she had to think about it, and turned to look back _just_ to make sure.

But Sakura felt confident in her answer. "No. My mother hates to travel. Dirt, sweat, and dangerous roads? She rarely leaves the village at all."

"Really? But she's a smith. How could she be bothered by any of those things?"

"Yeah, but our house has a shower, and no one actually _sees_ her in the smith."

It was true. Kakashi had no idea Sakura's mother had been the smith of her family store for months after the formation of Team Seven, and had always attributed that role to her father. Even now it was odd for him to place that prim woman in the grimy and dark place of a smith. He was certain she would be offended if he did.

Kakashi flipped out the book Sakura's mother had given him, and it was strange to have something without obscene material to browse through. But, after quickly scanning the table of contents, he was not sure he would feel comfortable reading it in public. At least _Icha, Icha_ had class.

"What is it?" Sakura frowned.

"Does your father believe in any of this?" Kakashi asked, holding the book up for her to see.

Sakura nodded. "Of course."

Well, that ended _that_. And Kakashi always thought of her father as sensible.

"I feel so bad about this morning!" Sakura said sometime in the dead of night after a long period of silence as they walked to their destination in the dark. "I didn't mean to miss training, but my mother found out right as I was leaving. There was no way I could have slipped out with Tenten's father there. Tenten _believes_ in the ceremony. She has been talking about mine for weeks. I knew that if I left, somehow Tenten would have found me. I wouldn't have been able to live it down."

"You don't believe in the ceremony?" Kakashi asked.

"Well..." Sakura was having trouble forming the words. "That's not what I am saying-"

_Oh god. Don't tell me she believes in this crap._

"But, it's rather insulting."

"Insulting?"

Sakura let out sigh. "Well, think about it. When a child becomes a shinobi, they are considered an adult by their families. Not me. My parents still bought me dolls, and my grandparents sent me childrens kimonos. Everyone else wore adult clothes, but I never did. It was considered inappropriate."

Now that Kakashi thought about it, her kimonos _were_ different. The patterns and decorations were a little silly for a woman her age, and the cut was all wrong. He always assumed she was trying to be cute; he never realized she felt slighted.

"Is that why you don't drink?" Kakashi asked, remembering what Sai had said.

Oh...

Oh _Sai_.

"Well, sure." Sakura said. "At Ino's birthday a few years back she had alcohol, and when I drank some I got _drunk_. When I woke up the next morning, completely hungover, my mom grounded me for _weeks_. I had never been grounded before... and I shouldn't have been. I was fifteen! I almost moved out after that, but it wasn't worth it in the end."

But Kakashi was not listening to her anymore.

"You know, I was not the first one to pick up your garter." he said.

"Oh no... did... did Naruto pick it up?" Sakura asked, horrified. "That would just be the kind of thing Naruto would do!"

"Sai."

Kakashi expected Sakura to be just as indignant, but her eyes simply looked at him in awe.

No disappointment?

Well, Kakashi knew what Sakura was capable of.

"You dropped that garter on _purpose_." he said, stopping in the middle of the road. "There was no reason for you to walk all the way to the training ground in that kimono... your mother would have killed you."

"T-that's not true..." Sakura mumbled. She moved to walk past him on the road but he grabbed her sleeve. "I... I just didn't want you guys to worry!"

"What I don't get is why you would play at this... game with the garter. I don't think you believe it."

Sakura's makeup had begun to run. Kakashi had no idea any of this was bringing her to tears... he just wanted to _know_.

"I'm sorry?" he said, confused. Why was she so upset?

Oh...

Oh _Sai_.

"Don't tell me..." Kakashi's eyes quivered, absolutely horrified at the consequences, having no idea that this had been underneath his nose the entire time. "That you _like_ Sai?"

"What does it matter!" Sakura fired back. "He doesn't like _me_ at all!"

She pushed him away with all her human strength and marched on down the road. It was an hour past midnight, and the only thing that illuminated the road was a half moon on a cloudy night.

Kakashi would have rather dealt with Sakura's mother than this.

Anything but this.

* * *

><p>"My cousins are going to <em>love<em> you." Sakura said sarcastically as they entered the bustling small town of Koboku. It was on a river, and Kakashi had been here a number of times in the past. It was a friendly place, with good food and great women, but he knew that he would be unable to have any fun with Sakura in such a sour mood. She'd catch him before he'd leave, and that would be if he was lucky. She would be merciless upon his return if he snuck away.

He decided to give a token peace offering. "You haven't told me about your cousins. How many do you have?"

"Eighteen." she responded.

_E-Eighteen?_

"But only four live in this town, and we'll just be traveling with my cousin Akizakura, who is my age, and my step-aunt. They're a bit annoying. Even Naruto doesn't like them."

"Naruto has met them?" Kakashi asked. How was it possible that, with such a large family, he had never met one of her kin before?

"Of course." Sakura responded, with a bit of a frown. "My step-aunt was familiar with Jiraiya. Apparently they stayed with her a few times when they were training away from Konoha, and she credits Naruto for securing her marriage to my uncle."

Kakashi wondered how that was possible, as the two were rather far away at the time.

"Don't _ever_ talk about it." Sakura warned, giving him a critical eye. "I have already forbidden Naruto. You have no idea how much trouble this could bring to my family if it were well known."

"Then why-?"

"Because my step-aunt will _want_ to talk about it, and you have to make sure she fails in doing so. It's hard enough with her living in this ridiculous town."

Kakashi was surprised she hated her step-aunt that much. Well, women were petty.

Her cousins' house was on the edge of town, quite near a few choice and less reputable motels, but Kakashi was surprised to find that, despite its vicinity to the worst of town, it was a residence that oversaw a rather famous vineyard in the area.

"This is your family's?" he asked. He knew that her family seemed to be wealthy, but this was unexpected. The vineyard was not especially large, but it produced one of the best vintages he had ever tasted at a reasonable price, and Kakashi preferred sake.

"It was my step-aunt's dowry to my uncle, and the condition to their marriage. She had to give my grandfather something to agree to the union. But it wasn't enough."

"It... it wasn't enough?"

"Of course not!" Sakura practically shouted it, but seeing that one of the farmhands paled in expression, she chose to calm down. "I don't want to talk about it, so just know not to bring it up."

Kakashi wanted to ask why, despite how indignant she was against it, but any attempt to do so was interrupted by the gleeful shout of a small child. It was a young boy, with embarrassingly feminine hair, that physically attached himself to Sakura with a tight hug. He must have been about seven.

"Sakura-chan!" he sung, "I've been waiting for you for _days_! You were supposed to be here before the New Year! I thought you were going to light fire crackers with me."

He pouted when he said this, and Kakashi deemed him genuine.

But there was just something not _right_ about him. His nose, upturned in such a way, seemed hideously out of place on a Haruno, especially with _that_ hair.

He was so... _familiar_.

It was... _uncanny_.

Kakashi decided he hated the child. Immensely. Far more than he usually hated children. The cut-off for him was twenty, which he was beginning to reconsider, and he had made a special exception for his genin team.

The child seemed to take notice of him too, and even looked at him with impressionable eyes.

"Kaju, where's your mother?" Sakura asked. "I'm sure she wants to talk to me. I want to get in and out before you father finds out I'm late."

But 'Kaju' did not respond, and Sakura looked down at him a little peeved, perhaps because she was so used to his infatuation.

It seemed to have latched onto someone else.

If he didn't know any better, Kakashi would say that Sakura was _jealous_.

"Who's _that_?" Kaju asked. "Is he a Samurai?"

Kakashi could not help be a little offended.

Sakura only laughed. "No, no. That's my friend Kakashi. He's a ninja."

The boy turned his head and seemed deeply disturbed. "I think you better find my mother, before my father finds _him_."

Sakura seemed to take this to heart far more quickly than Kakashi felt was appropriate for his continued composure, and led him away. She seemed to take careful consideration with each turn she made in the lengthy hallway of the manor. If she had not been so serious, Kakashi would have looked a little longer at the decadent decorations, which seemed to be of the highest quality. They passed a wine rack, and Kakashi noted with approval at what seemed to be a fine assortment of vintages, both inhouse and out. He wondered, briefly, if sake or other spirits were drunk in this manor, and felt assured that Sakura would at least want to touch up her makeup before leaving. Perhaps he could have a drink...

So entrenched in this thought, he only paid a mindful glance to a family portrait, but a few steps away from it and he stopped _cold_.

"Kakashi?" Sakura turned back. "We need to find my step-aunt."

"I don't want to." he replied. "I'm out."

Sakura practically growled. "_You're out_? What's does that even mean? You've had worse missions. Is spending time with me _that_ bad?"

He pointed at the family portrait.

"Your... your aunt."

"_Step_-aunt." Sakura corrected. She did not look at the portrait.

"I've... I've..." he confided, gritting his teeth. "I've _met_ her a few times."

Kakashi knew he did not need to elaborate, as Sakura's earlier warnings provided enough context for the both of them.

"So what?" she said. "We _all_ know what she used to do. Just don't let her bring it up, and for god's sake, Kakashi, don't sleep with her. She's not... she doesn't do _that_ anymore."

"I don't do what?" an innocently shrill voice asked.

It was too late.

Sakura's mother owed him double the original mission payment for her troubles.

"Tomomi-san, I was just saying that you don't have time for painting anymore." Sakura said, pointing to the left of the family portrait. It was a rather crude ink painting of twin girls of about ten, which Kakashi gathered to be Sakura's twin cousins. "I wish you would start again; I really love the painting you sent us after your marriage."

"Well, I was rather proud of my work, especially that warrior peace I sent you. Certainly my best! I have been wanting to do a recent one of Akizakura for her wedding, but I haven't had the time."

Kakashi thought that it was perhaps fortunate. He was certain Sai would have been offended by her lack of talent. Akizakura seemed like a pretty girl from the picture, and her sisters looked like little inhuman devils in their painting. Anyone who thought Tomomi-san had talent was a lackwit. He was glad he never took up her offer in the past. That wasn't the type of thing he would be willing to pay for.

"The vineyard has been in quite a bit of trouble over the last few years." Tomomi said, looking quite exhausted despite her quiet beauty, "and I really have no idea how to run this sort of business."

"Have you finished your studies?" Sakura asked, mockingly. Kakashi realized she must have been talking about Tomomi's illiteracy, but despite how condescending Sakura was, Kakashi noted that Tomomi did not react. However, Kakashi _knew_ she noticed.

"Between meeting with my language sensei and trying to micro-manage an entire estate, I can only accomplish half of what needs to be done. It's infuriating that I am not allowed to employ help when my husband is off for half the year trying to negotiate terms with the county lord."

"So Uncle is not here?"

"He's off in his library, meeting with a representative, so it would be prudent not to appear before him, Kakashi."

Surprised by her sudden mention of his name, Kakashi could not escape her notice.

It was pointless to even think so.

They knew each other _very_ well.

"Tomomi-san," he said quietly, surprised she used that name. He was certain it was not her _real_ name, and it was unseemly that she would use her working name when managing the household and business of what seemed to be a prominent family. "It's... it's interesting meeting you here."

He felt so lame.

Not that he _wanted_ to talk about anything Sakura had forbidden.

But Tomomi seemed eager.

"I know! Every time I go to Konoha I try to find you, but you are never around!" Kakashi assumed Sakura had a lot to do with it. "I really want to catch up. Maybe we should sit down for tea and have a talk."

_Was that code?_

"Tomomi-san!" Sakura interjected. "We have no time for that! We're already running late for the ceremony!"

"Oh, but Sakura-chan, you did not arrive when expected, and we had no idea if you were going to arrive _today_. Akizakura is not dressed properly, and you know that it will take hours to get her ready!"

"But it's morning." Kakashi pointed out. "How long could it possibly take for her to put on a kimono?"

"This is a _special_ kimono, Kakashi." Tomomi said, with that seductive sly smile that used to make him quite happy, but not anymore. "These kimonos are not made to be taken _off_ like some common yukata."

"It takes hours to put everything on properly." Sakura said, ignoring her step-aunt's innuendo. "That's why I didn't change before going to the training grounds. The underclothes alone have to be very carefully set, or everything could go wrong."

Oh no, not _another_ superstition. Kakashi rebelled against the urge to look it up in the book, though he knew he would get little flak for it here.

"Is it considered bad luck?" he asked. "Does it affect future marriage?"

"You could say that!" Tomomi laughed, her pleasant smile beaming through. She was no lady; she did not hide her smile behind a dainty hand, but laughed with such friendly exuberance that he would never have expected in this manor. He could not let it affect him. He knew she was trying.

"So if you wear the wrong sock, you'll anger the spirits, and they'll ruin your marriage?" he asked.

"No, it's _much_ worse." Sakura said. "But I don't want to talk about it. Tomomi-san, can we have rooms for the night?"

* * *

><p>An hour later Kakashi emerged from the shower and found the cheery face of Akizakura at the door. She held a stack of linens which she handed to him with much fanfare. If Kakashi had not known any better, he would have assumed Akizakura to be the biological daughter of Tomomi. These were step-relations that must get along well with each other. How... well, it wasn't going to be fortunate for anyone these next few days.<p>

"Hatake-san," Akizakura said. "We've haven't met. I'm Haruno Akizakura, and I'll be showing you to your room!"

She led him along the hallway of the family wing. It would have normally been considered inappropriate to house him here, but Tomomi deemed it _prudent_ in light of the representative that was meeting with Sakura's uncle in the guest wing.

"I've never met a shinobi before," she said. "It's kind of exciting. Do you kill people often?"

The question was said with such brashness Kakashi had no idea how to answer it. Of course the daughter of a Samurai's son would think that.

"You know Sakura well enough."

"Well, _she_ doesn't count." Akizakura said.

"I hardly see how that is fair." Kakashi said, realizing that while Akizakura liked to flirt, she held no charm. Shame, she was rather good looking. And what a great rack too.

"Sakura is a respectable kunoichi. She's a med-nin, and that's a reputable occupation even among samurai families."

Double standards. Kakashi hated the hypocrisy of samurai.

"Are you really coming with us?" she asked. "Sakura can protect us. I don't see why she needs any help."

Akizakura did not seem disappointed however, pulling at his elbow as they walked along, pressing into him without any hesitation.

"Her mother hired me to make sure she followed all the superstitions."

Akizakura crossed her hands over her heart. "Don't say that Hatake-san! And I liked you!"

Kakashi rolled his eyes.

"They are not superstitions. You must anger the spirits everyday." Akizakura said. She had stopped at a door, but instead of leaving she slipped inside.

"I don't think this is appropriate." Kakashi said, not daring to step inside. Decorum or _something_ must make it vulgar for him to be in a bedroom alone with a girl about to be married.

"Nonsense!" Akizakura grabbed his arm and dragged him inside. If Kakashi were being honest, and he would not be around her father when saying it, he did not resist even a little bit.

"This is important." she said, leading him over to the bed.

Kakashi did not like where this was heading.

Well, he did but-

"I think there is someone in the next room..."

"Oh, they won't mind!"

Akizakura pressed her finger onto his lips, and Kakashi felt his eyes begin to close. Would she pull down his mask? Sakura would probably be upset by that...

But instead of Akizakura's soft lips meeting his, he felt a slap.

"What was _that_ for?" he asked, rubbing mouth.

Akizakura paid no attention to him, and ran to the window where she opened it dramatically and made a strange motion.

"I'm throwing away your naughty words!" she said. "Now you can start anew, and the spirits can bless you."

"I wouldn't consider that kind of blasphemy the naughtiest thing I ever said."

Akizakura did not laugh, and instead walked back to the bed and forced him to lean over it with a bow.

"Now pray!"

"Pray for what?"

"Pray for blessings! What if you die in the night because they steal your breath?"

"But that's-" he had no idea what to say to this, but she seemed so earnest, so he decided to mouth a few words.

"That's the worst of prayers!" Akizakura shouted, but then rather softly... and coyly... "Good thing none of this is real. Hatake-san, are you really going to make my cousin and I follow all these silly superstitions?"

Well, now he was lost.

"You don't believe in any of this?"

"Of course not, it's all so ridiculous." she said, sitting down on the bed. "And I know _you_ don't believe it, you're a shinobi. So why are you here?"

"Sakura's mother paid me."

"You _are_ a ninja." Akizakura giggled. "If I paid you, would you sleep with me?"

_She_ didn't have to pay.

"Would you kill a child?"

Now that was just unnecessary.

"Would you _really_ let them set us on fire?"

And what was he supposed to say to that?

* * *

><p>"Why won't you have dinner with us?"<p>

Kakashi made the best of attempts to cough like an invalid.

"Are you okay?" he heard Sakura ask through the door. "You're not... _sick_... are you?"

"No... _I'm fine."_ Kakashi grunted in-between coughs, rushing to the door and pushing against it. "But I don't think I can..." he gave another fake cough, just for good measure, "make it to dinner."

"Open up." Sakura said, with disbelief in her voice. "I'll give you a checkup."

Kakashi's hand dropped to the doorknob, but Sakura had already turned it all the way and _pushed_.

With her _inhuman_ strength.

She stepped through the doorway with a critical look.

"You're not sick!" Sakura said without even a checkup. "I know they are not _your_ family, but I don't want to be stuck with them either!"

He looked down. "Doesn't your uncle _hate_ shinobi?"

"Of course he does, Kakashi, he's a samurai's son, but he won't be having dinner with us. He is still doing business."

"It's ridiculous you know, that they hate us. We all fought together on the same side in the war."

"That doesn't matter. Now will you come to dinner with me? My cousins aren't that bad."

Kakashi wanted to laugh at that. "Not that bad? After my shower, your cousin flirted with me."

"So? You should be flattered; she hates ninja."

"I thought she was being married?"

"Of course, but that doesn't mean she can't have fun first."

"And that... that little boy," it was difficult for him to even mention Kaju. The hair and the nose... it all made it shudder. "He keeps following me everywhere I go."

"I can't imagine where he's following you to. Have you even left this room?" Sakura rolled her eyes. "They'll behave around Tomomi-san. They respect her, though I can't imagine why."

"And that... that woman,"

"My step-aunt!" Sakura interjected, obviously not liking any hint of a reminder to what she was... by anybody else that is.

"She slipped into this room earlier, and-"

"That's a bold lie, Kakashi-sensei." Sakura looked at him cross. "I'd believe it if she weren't helping me out of my kimono for the last few hours."

_The last few hours?_

"That sounds like an excessive garment. How difficult is it to get off?"

Kakashi saw his chance, and he was going to take it.

"Well, there's the haori, but that's pretty easy to remove. The obi is more difficult to get on, as you recall, but Tomomi-san also has a lever. The nagajuban is more difficult, since the coming of age nagajuban is special..." Sakura stopped. "Why are you asking how I got undressed? Kakashi-sensei, that's just disgusting."

Kakashi ignored her verbal attack. He needed to _know_. Well, maybe not about _that_, but...

"Why would your mother let you wear something like that on the road? And have you protect your cousin in it?" Kakashi was at a loss as to why her mother, whom he was sure loved her daughter, would actually allow her daughter to participate in this ceremony, superstitions or not.

"Well, she wouldn't have trusted Tomomi-san to put it on correctly." she said, but she seemed reluctant to say much of anything. "It's very important, and it's unlikely Tomomi-san would have the knowledge to do it properly. Even if she has ancestors, they would have never blessed her because of what she has done in the past."

"Why wouldn't you wear something else?" he asked.

Sakura shrugged her shoulders. "It's important to wear to the ceremony. Otherwise it doesn't count, you know?"

He could not believe it. Whatever was the reason for her not wanting to go to the ceremony before, _this_ was not the part that made her reluctant to go.

And that was the one thing he should have expected any sane person to reject.

Sakura _believed_ in the superstitions after all.

* * *

><p>Twenty minutes later, and the entire floor of the house went silent. Everyone had gone down to eat except Kakashi, and though Sakura had pressed him to go along anyway (as well as Tomomi) he had succeeded in being able to stay inside his own room.<p>

The problem was, he had no idea _which_ room Sakura had been staying in.

He crept along very carefully, afraid that someone, a servant or some member of the house, would wander by and see what he was up to. He stood at the door of each room and snuck a peak inside, but to his displeasure all appeared to be well lived-in rooms.

He could hear Tomomi's laugh from the dining room downstairs, and the agreeable and over-eager bounce of Akizakura. He heard nothing of Sakura, but he hoped she was still sitting there steaming at having to deal with them alone.

Kakashi had little time to lose.

"I don't sense any danger." the pug said after being summoned. "In fact, I'd say quite the opposite."

Pakkun looked up at Kakashi with his dog frown. "I smell Sakura, and others like her. But this isn't her house."

"No, it's her uncle's." Kakashi said. "But I can't find what room she is staying in."

"I don't think I should do this." Pakkun said. "If this is a prank..."

"No, it's not a prank."

The gravity of Kakashi's voice must have tipped Pakkun off to the severity of the situation, and he relented, pawing off down the hallway.

The room was much farther away then he expected, but when Pakkun stopped at the door near the library Kakashi almost slapped himself. Of course she would pick a room close to so many books.

He opened up the door and there _it_ was. The kimono that Sakura had been wearing was hanging in a series from the ceiling.

It was a shame, even Kakashi thought it beautiful, and a testament to Sakura's lineage; intricate white circles patterned over fine red fabric. It would cost the average family's yearly wages, and he knew he would pay dearly for what he was about to do if it were discovered.

"What are you doing?" Pakkun asked, eying him with suspicion as he approached the kimono with a kunai.

"I need to destroy it!"

"But why?"

"Because it can't burn!"

He stabbed the kunai into the fabric... or tried to.

"The hell?" he said aloud, looking down.

"That's a rather nice kimono, Kakashi." Pakkun said. "You don't sense the protections around it? Rather old technique, actually."

"I was under the impression most Samurai were mere soldiers." he said, trying to stab through the fabric in other places. "Except for Iron samurai, the techniques of the old days are no longer being used by the main military might of the countries."

"You are wrong." Pakkun said. "Their reign may be over, but much has still been passed down. You won't be able to make a mark against that kimono. Though I can't imagine why."

Kakashi leaned against the wall and studied it carefully.

"Then it really won't catch fire?"

"Now fire is a different thing entirely." Pakkun said. "But it shouldn't, as long as it hasn't been damaged in anyway."

Kakashi rubbed the fabric of a kimono sleeve. As powerful as the jutsu was protecting the kimono, it was thin.

"What about temperatures?" he asked Pakkun. "Would you feel the heat of the fire beneath the fabric?"

"Just what are you talking about?" the dog asked. "Why do you want to destroy Sakura's kimono? This _is_ a prank. The last time..."

The sound of feet shuffling across the hallway alerted Kakashi that the time was up. He could hear Akizakura begging Sakura to help her with something.

"We need to go" Kakashi said, looking toward the window. He could not carry everything, so he decided to leave the outer kimono and take the nagajuban, a surprisingly drab fabric, which he was sure was the important part of the kimono.

Kakashi opened the window of the room quietly, fearful that Sakura might realize someone was inside and _jumped_...

Straight into the water of a bathhouse.


End file.
